Ode to Sleep Deprivation

The light is low, the hour is late
I lay my head down to ruminate
The house is clean, the babies are dry
Work still to do, I cannot lie
But I’m sleep deprived, have been for years
My far-flung friends can hear my tears
It’s not much I ask, oh god of sleep,
I offer gold, though my pockets aren’t deep
My savings, my vacation time, my 401K
For a few blissful hours of sleep in the hay
And if you comply, oh wise goddess,
I will do my best to promise you this:
Less visible road rage,
Less child wars waged,
Less undeserved yelling
Less memory failings
More patience
More smiles
More home-cooked meals
More quality time with those I hold dear.
So what will it take, oh cruel master,
To get what I need to avert a disaster?
Must I just bide my time?
Commit a household crime?
Take colorful pills and nasty potions?
Resort to weird New Age notions?
Offer you riches and huge compliments?
Give you my first born and the infants?
Or will you be kind to a poor mom in need
And give me a little undisturbed SLEEP?