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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Really, Murphy, this is getting ridiculous...

Just in case you've been keeping up on the tally of me vs. Murphy's Law (though why on earth you'd want to keep track is beyond me...I don't even want to keep track...), I just thought I'd let you know that Murphy scored another one.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling *gasp* almost ok. I had a relatively good night's sleep, the kids all slept thru the night, and we're all (mostly) recovered from the flu. "Hurrah!" I thought, "we can finally get on with our lives!"

I had big plans for the day. It's school vacation week here, so I was going to take all 3 kids to the music and story hour at the library, and then out for some extended OUTDOOR fun. I know, I know, it was ambitious to think we might be able to take a step outside without our noses freezing off, but it was in the HIGH 30's yesterday, and even sunny.

I lounged in bed later than usual since I didn't have to do the normal me-against-the-clock rush to get Big Sis onto the bus on time. No one was crying. The sun was shining. All was right with the world. Enter Husband, stage left.

"I thought you left for work," I said.

"I. Tried. To." he said through gritted teeth.

"What's wrong?" I ask, not really wanting to know the answer.

"My. Back." he says, "Can't. Move. Help. Me."

Turns out that as he bent to tie his shoes, he threw his back out. It was one of those ridiculous things, only slightly less ignoble than the story on the medical site I consulted about the guy who threw his out reaching for some toilet paper. So I eased my poor husband to the floor, plied him with my prescription muscle relaxants, and handed him his Blackberry ('cause heaven forbid life at the office should go on without him).

'Course, just as I got him settled, the cleaning people showed up, which sent me into a blind panic. If you're anything like me, you have to clean up before the cleaning people arrive. It's not that I'm embarrassed by the state of my house (though I am), it's that I have to straighten up before they clean, or everything ends up in random, indistinguishable piles. So my quiet morning turns into chaos as I race around pulling out clean sheets and putting away bits of stuff while the kids scream for breakfast and the husband calls me on his cell phone from the bedroom to ask me if I can bring him more Motrin. "By the way," he mentions, "Big Sis was complaining about her eye this morning. You should take a look at it."

"Sure," I say, promptly forgetting.

2 hours later, he's sufficiently drugged, the cleaning people are well under way, the kids are fed, and we're all (finally!) dressed. "Mind if I take them to the library?" I ask. "That's fine," he says, so off we go.

50 cabin-fevered (yes, it is a verb) children and 200 germ-covered toys later, and we head home for lunch and a nap. At which point I finally take a good look at Big Sis' face. And realize her eyes are red and bruised looking underneath. "Oops," I think, "I was supposed to look at her eyes this morning." So I take a closer look. And realize that the child I just exposed to half the town has highly contagious pink eye. RATS!

The one benefit of being an experienced mom with multiple kids is that you have all sorts of half finished prescriptions hanging out in the medicine cabinet. Lucky for me, one was the eye drops for pink eye. So I lube her up, wash her hands, tuck her comfortably onto the couch to play cards, and go to give Husband the update.

"Do you think you should take her to the doctor?" he asks.

"What's the point?" I sigh, "They'll just charge me $100 to tell me what I already know and give me a prescription I already have."

And so, instead of more fun stuff today, like a trip to that new indoor playground we've been dying to see, I'm spending the morning doing laundry in my PJ's and blogging, 'cause it really doesn't seem fair to expose the REST of the vacationing children in my town to gooey, infected eyes. See, I can show some restraint. Is it too early for a martini?


MIQuilter said...

In your house, it's NEVER too early for a martini!

I can't believe that Big Sis had the audacity to get pink eye to top off your already germ-laden year! I'm sorry TT :(

Nicole said...

Never too early for a drink, especially after a day like that ;)!

MultiplesMommy said...

Thank you, ladies! So with your express written permission, I think I shall go indulge. Perhaps I'll try a chocolate martini, since I've heard so much about them. 'Course, I'm not so sure I have the right alcohol (let's just say that my liquor cabinet dates back to the pre-wedding bash my father threw us...and we've been married almost 10 years...), but I suppose I could just CALL it a martini and drink chocolate syrup right out of the container. Right?!

foolery said...

Works for me. Sorry about the pinkeye (I had it last fall, shudder).

MIQuilter said...

Truly, some days (like today, for me, for instance) it's never the wrong kind of alcohol.

Don Mills Diva said...

It's never too early for a martini. Sorry about your day.

MommyTime said...

mmm...chocolate martini...mmmm...Have one. For sure. Even if it's just chocolate syrup that you drink while hiding in the pantry. :) hugs.

Mr Lady said...

Awesome. Totally awesome.

Also, can I have a muscle relaxant? Please?

MultiplesMommy said...

Yes, Mr Lady, since you asked so nicely, you can. Would you like a pain killer chaser with that??

I'm kinda' jealous of our parents' generation of "mother's little helpers"...'course I'd be happy with any interpretation of that...little blue pills, housekeeper, pool boy...


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