I was awakened this morning to two wiggly bodies both trying to use me as a pillow. The older one said, "Mama, Mama, we should call her mice on John."
Confused by such a strange wake-up call, without opening my eyes, I responded, "Whaaa?"
"MICE on JOHN," he enunciated slowly. "We should call Daughter mice on John."
"Whyyyyy?" slurred sleepy mama.
"Because she only has one slipper on."
Son: Mama, what is that big orange truck?
Me: A salt truck.
Son: A salt truck? What does it do?
Me: It spreads salt on the roads when it snows, so the roads aren't so slippery.
Son: Where does it get the salt?
Me: Well, you see that it looks like a giant dump truck. That whole back is full of salt. And it has a sprinkler on the back to sprinkle all that salt on the roads.
Son: No, I mean where does the salt come from?
Me: Oh. From the ocean, I guess. There is a lot of salt in the ocean...
Son: [cutting short the lecture on salinity and processes of extraction, which was going to be followed by lots of facts about salt deposits in rock] But in the ocean there are giant sharks and big big whales...
Me: Yes [thinking perhaps I have a budding environmentalist on my hands here, one who worries about what we're doing to the world's oceans and the habitats of their largest creatures]
Son: [quickly disabusing me of this pride with his practical follow-up]...and they would EAT UP the fishing poles.
Me: Eat up the fishing poles? [confused yet? wait for it...here it comes...here it comes]
Son: Yes, the fishing poles. Because they have to use fishing poles to catch the salt out of the ocean. But the sharks and whales would chomp them with their sharp teeth and eat them up. So. It's not a good idea to get salt out of the ocean.