Snarl

It's 5:49am. I've been up since 4:51. At that time, I made both kids get into the bed with me in the spare room so Daddy could sleep. Son was already in our bed--awake--when Daughter started crying for me from the crib. Husband argued he'd been up with her in the middle of the night, so it was my turn. Fair enough. Though it should be noted that I didn't get to bed till 1:30am. Hence the enormously grumptious look on my face right now. Here's what I've been hearing:

"Mama, I'm so boring, I can't sleep."

--toss-toss-toss-- little wriggling bodies try to get comfortable,
use me as a pillow

"Lovey squishin' me. Ah, eh, ahhh. Lovey squishin' me." It's apparently my job to keep her soft, 8 oz. stuffed elephant from squishing her. Even though she is picking it up and laying it on herself and then complaining.

--toss-toss-toss-- little wriggling bodies try to get comfortable,
fight over which part of me will be their pillow

"Can I just play Planet Heroes? [fiddling on computer] Mama, what's this mean?" He's somehow managed to open a window that will download a children's game. Not the worst thing that could happen. Except. He's FOUR. There were no children's games windows available at all on the screen when he started. And he can't read. So -- dumb luck or providence that he didn't come across something much much worse to download? You be the judge. My response, "Sweetie, it's only 5:00. It's still sleeping time. Come back to bed." Reluctantly, he drags himself over to Daughter and me and climbs up.

--toss-toss-toss-- little wriggling bodies try to get comfortable
one ends up draped over my face

"Milk. More milk. Cup. Milk. More milk. PEEEZ." So milktruck mama goes downstairs into the pitch darkness, cold tile floor of the morning to get a sippy cup.

--toss-toss-toss-- little wriggling bodies try to get comfortable
one has an elbow planted deep in my gut

"Mama, I'm so boring, I can't sleep. Can I just get up?" I finally consent. I toss Daughter back in her crib. Gently, of course. She settles down. I return to Son and lean over him to help him find some coloring pages on the computer.

"I smell wine." How does he know it's wine?! We drink pretty rarely. And, sad thing? Though the early part of my evening involved a couple of glasses of wine and a home pedicure while laughing with friends, the reason I went to bed so late was NOT high-jinks and hilarity but work. So I'm not exactly in that still-tipsy, hee hee hee mode that would otherwise make 5:30am more fun.

Gertrude Stein once wrote that the only way one should ever approach a sunrise is from the night before. I'm here to set the record straight. Gertrude, great, nutty writer, infamous partier, friend of Ernest Hemingway and all that Paris ex-pat set, Gertrude, dear lady, sometimes a sunrise should not even be approached from the night before.

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If you want something more peaceful and happy to read, please look at the pretty pictures in the next post. I'm so boring, I'm going to make some coffee.