Directions: Match the Causes with the Appropriate Effects
* Children wake up chipper at 5:15am; Mommy is dysfunctionally literate before 7:00am
* Little Miss I-Do-It has taken up residence and has the wherewithal to try anything
* Dog loves to go in and out, in and out, in and out of the house
Effects
* The entire couch is covered in fine, pulverized Cheerio dust
* The kitchen floor is all wet (with something that must be cleaned, not something made for cleaning)
* Daughter’s shoes are on the wrong feet over her feetsie pajamas
* There is dog food under the kitchen table
* The children have watched three hours of TV
It is only 8:30am
Ah-HA. Trick quiz. Did you figure out that you have to draw lines from each of the causes to all of the effects? If so, did you notice that in doing so you have created a page that is a scrawled, inarticulate mess? If so, did you observe that you have produced a metaphoric map of the confused state of most parental brains when wide-awake children demand coherent responses prior to 6:00 am?
If so, I conclude that you are familiar with the parenting of young children. And that you are reading this at a reasonable hour of the day, having consumed at least one large cup of your daily beverage-of-choice. Care to share?
13 comments:
If it makes you feel better, our morning went something like this...
3:09 am: Minnie 1 wakes up; Mommy gets her back to sleep
3:11 am: Due to Minnie 1's screaming, Minnie 2 wakes up, Daddy CANNOT get her back to sleep. She comes into bed with us.
3:12 - 5:25 am: Mommy tosses and turns trying to get away from small feet determined to burrow a hole in her spine, list and "to-do's" for Friday dominating her thoughts.
5:45 am: Minnie 2 wakes up again demanding a bottle and wanting to watch Elmo. Exhausted Mommy, too tired to fight, takes her downstairs and parks her in front of the TV, bottle in hand.
6:25 am: Swift kick to Mommy from Minnie 2 wakes me up again
6:55 am: Minnie 1 gets bored, starts yelling for Mommy, makes her way up the stairs and decides to wake up Big Sis. Chaos ensues.
And THEN the morning begins for real.
My morning has been equally entertaing....
1:39 am: Puppy wakes up and cries. She has to pee. Mommy gets up takes out puppy and then pees herself (not outside.)
3:23 am: Mommy wakes up in a coughing fit. (GERD) useless to try to sleep thru it (but tries that and cough drops anyway), leaves bedroom to not bother the others sleeping and spends the rest of the morning sitting upright in a chair in the living room pretending to sleep.
6:45am: figures that puppy will be awake any second so there's no point to continuing to pretend to try to sleep. turning on coffee maker, Mommy thinks "hmm... this is EXACTLY what I did yesterday that caused said coughing fit..." finishes large steamy mug of coffee just as puppy awakes.
7:00 - 7:30 am: mommy and puppy play "bite the mommy". No, it doesn't sound fun for me, and frankly, it's even less fun to actually play.
7:30 am: get ready for work where I will officically start my day by leading a 2 hour meeting and be coherent, all at the same time.
Hurrah.
Really, why can't they just SLEEP until 8. Don't they know how much nicer our lives would be?
Reading this made me yearn for a big glass full of my other beverage of choice. The one that turns all those criss crossing lines into one happy fuzzy smiley face.
1. get up, wishing i was dead. stayed up too late watching Lost (again)
2. coffee
3. ...
4. play awful transformer game that CJ made up until I'm ready to jab my eyes out
5. WHEN will Jay be home so I can have a glass of wine?
(still on #5)
My kids never wake up before seven ever. For any reason.
And if they DID, I don't like them enough to wake up for them anyway. ;)
Giggle Giggle to your pop quiz. And thanks for not being pissed that I took your image without permission.
And LM is all primed for you. I totally bored her ass of today; you should be a breath of fresh air.
And I am totally obsessed with the semi-colon now, have you noticed?
If you ever find that off button post about it will ya? I've tried the easy button and it didn't work. Not even a little bit.
Just jumping on again to thank you for that award the other day. I've posted my tips :)
Exactly WHERE do you place your hidden cameras in my house??? Love the blog!!!
~~Blog-hoppin, after a looooonng nite~~
Exactly WHERE do you place your hidden cameras in my house??? Love the blog!!!
~~Blog-hoppin, after a looooonng nite~~
Bananas, I feel you on that #5!!
Mr. Lady, are you magic? Or what do you make them drink before you put them down? Because my kids are up by 6:30, tops every single day, no matter what time we put them to bed!
Chuck, good to know not to bother with that easy button... Thanks!
Amanda and BusyDad, I'm off to check you out.
You lost me at pulverized Cheerio dust. Must vacuum that up now...
"No no no no, kids, we're on HAWAII time. We have three more hours to sleep." If that doesn't work, maybe my beverage of choice WILL.
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