Home AboutBest Of Reviews Subscribe BlogrollTwitter

Monday, April 14, 2008

James Has Ants

"Mama, James has ants."

"Oh, dear!"

"And one day he brought his lunchbox to school..."

[Remembering the head lice precautions instituted in early November, Mama has visions of a stream of ants descending on the classroom lunch table from poor James's lunchbox.]

"...And they put peanut butter in because they didn't know we weren't allowed to have peanut butter at school."

Momentarily confused, Mama suddenly gets it and starts to giggle.

Son glowers, and says in an accusatory tone, "What's so funny?"

"Honey, what do you think James's aunts look like?"

"I don't know. Red, maybe? Or black."

Mama bursts out laughing, imagining two large maiden Ants standing on their hindmost pair of legs, wearing aprons, and making forbidden peanut butter sandwiches for little James.

"What? WHAT is so funny?"

"Honey, there are two words that sound alike: ants like a little ant, a bug; and aunts like Auntie MIQ. I'm guessing James has some aunts who are Aunties, and they are the ones who packed his lunch." Son begins to smile. I continue, "Do you think some little tiny ant bugs could pack peanut butter in his lunch for him?"

Son begins to giggle, then turns serious. "But, mama," he says. "I heard James's mama say so. She came to pick him up, and she said James has ants. So. Maybe they are. Ant. "

He looks quite sure of himself. I have learned that when he gets such a schema in his head, it is almost impossible to alter. So I counter with nothing else, and I drop him off at school, secure in his vision of lunch-packing bugs.

Who knows? Maybe I am wrong about James. Maybe he does have ants who whip up sandwiches for him in utter ignorance of preschool rules.

And maybe his house is shaped like a giant peach.

* * * * *

Click the button for more of today's hilarity.


Sara said...

Kids are hysterical, that's too cute. Ants!

OHmommy said...

LOL... I love the conversations that fill our homes. THAT was great!

Baby Mama (Tamra) said...

Cute story!

MIQuilter said...

Well, something you might not know is that I am an aunt... but I am ALSO an ant! Tell Son that if he's not careful, I'll crawl over there and make HIM a peanut butter sandwich for school!

GHD said...

That's so sweet! Thanks for sharing!

Huckdoll said...

Too funny! I always wonder about those two meaning words when it comes to my kids. Especially close and clothes - they always look at me cross-eyed when I start hollering for them to get their clothes. "Clothes, baby. NOT CLOSE!" Ugh.

Christine @ Serenity How? said...

How cute is that? I love it! :)

Don Mills Diva said...

I love how in his world ants packing lunches is a distinct possibility - so cute!

princessofsomething said...

I can remember being so confused by those two words when I was a kid. I remember my parents getting such a kick out of a card I had written to "Ant Judy"-- well how the heck was I supposed to know?? LOL

I wonder what they'd say if they knew that until I was like 16 I thought "lingerie" was pronounced "linger-ee." =-)

Amy said...

Cute! We had an ant mix up too, it wasn't nearly as amusing as your story.

Momo Fali said...

If I had read this after a margarita, it's entirely possible I would've believed him.

Heather said...

I was thinking of James and the Giant Peach as I read your post, and then I got to the end. I love that story.

Tara R. said...

That is funny! I love how kids minds work.

Mrs F with 4 said...

Took me a while to get this one... but then I'm stuck with my childhood pronunciation of 'aunt' as 'arnt'.

Plenty of opportunity for hilarity with crisp English (as in, United Kingdom ever-so-slightly-plum-in-the-mouth English) accent in francophone Quebec. I managed to bring total silence followed by hysterical laughter to our local playgroup when asked what was in the menu for supper in the F household (toads in the hole - do you have those?). Apparently it was heard as 'turds in the hole'.

I did go back, but not for a while....! Ants would be infinitely preferable!

BusyDad said...

Hahaha! I'm inclined to believe the boy. And you know, that's the problem with ants. I told them if they promised to help out a little, they could stay. But they also packed peanut butter in Fury's lunch. So I called Terminix. Don't tell me I'm not a fair man.

MommyTime said...

DMD, that's my favorite part about this too!

Mrs. F -- sorry, I didn't think about the accent thing. In fact, some people pronounce "aunt" as if it's spelled "ont," so for them this doesn't work either. But at least it's not as bad as the homonym list that was sent home with me from 2nd grade, on which my very Southern-accent-talking teacher had indicated (much to my mother's annoyance) that "pin" and "pen" were pronounced identically. Both were "pee-un," no doubt, in that teacher's mind.

BusyDad, you know those ants...they say they'll help, and then they just while away the days playing.

pb&j in a bowl said...

Cute story! Definitely made me giggle. I'm one of those "ants" that is clueless about what to do with my nieces and nephew.

foolery said...

Son, I don't get it, either. But I have a similar problem: I have a nervous tick . . .


The Apron Queen said...

Oh girl! You make me laugh! Stop by & see how I tackled my sanity! I'm still trying to get all the sand out of my shorts! :D

For your daily dose of vintage goodness & a bit of silliness, stop by Confessions of an Apron Queen, the home of Vintage Thingies Thursdays.


Blog Design by JudithShakes Designs.
Image Hosting by Flickr.