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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

In which I link obsessively to YOU by Crocs hoping Someone Important will notice...

For those of you who might think of me as the grammar police, or as the staid and respectable voice of moderation and reason at a dinner party, or as a boring old English professor who teaches long, dusty novels, let me just say, for the record:

these shoes make me want to marry YOU by Crocs and have tiny little adorable patent leather baby shoes together. Seriously.

The style is named "Venice." I adore Venice. So romantic, such a wonderful city for walking. Really, it's a city one can only explore on foot, since there is no motorized traffic allowed in Venice, except of the boat variety. (Caveat: fabulous as these shoes seem, they probably don't enable the wearer to walk on water. Though I can't be sure unless I try them myself. Hint Hint: YOU by Crocs.) The little, twisted, narrow, sometimes-cobbled streets would be the perfect test of the comfort and durability and stylishness of these shoes. But I'm not asking for a trip to Italy. Not even secretly hoping for one. All I really want is one little (well, not so little; I wear size 9) pair of shoes to call my own.

I would love and cherish them like all charming and incredibly-well-made Italian footwear deserves. I would brag about them to all my friends. I would wear them to class regularly enough to get comments about them on my end-of-semester evaluations and thereby ensure the brand gets even more attention. (Oh yes, they do. Students notice footwear. I had one student write, anonymously, on the end-of-term survey in response to the question "What was your favorite part of this class?".... "Her green shoes." Just imagine how "favorite" shoes as gorgeous as these would be.)

So, let's backtrack a little to see why they would be perfect for me. As a professor at a university whose graduate courses only run at night, I'm routinely on campus from 8am until 10pm at least once a week, not to mention my other long "normal" days that end at dinner time -- and most of the day I'm on my feet. Which means, of course, I need comfortable shoes. Now, as far as I can tell, there are several types of professor clothing: the absent-minded, tweed-and-elbow-patches professor; the University sweatshirt and blue jeans, relate-to-the-students professor; the Henry Louis Gates bowtie-and-attitude professor; the Holly Hobby / crunchy granola / frumpy 1970s / generally out-of-touch in her mothballish dresses professor; and the overdress slightly to overcompensate for looking not much older than the students professor.

I'm the last.

Unfortunately, it's only all of the former categories that lend themselves to comfortable shoes. (Henry Louis Gates doesn't have to wear pumps to look stylish.)

Did I mention that I taught a night class that finished a mere four hours before Daughter was born, and that I had on high-heeled black knee boots that were torture to zip up in that last month of pregnancy, but that I was determined to wear, come what may, given that I had already reached her due date, and Daughter was not born yet, and the least I could do was have a good hair and shoes day for that night class?

So, it's not surprising that as soon as I finished reading this post of OhMommy's, where I first learned about these shoes, I began to drool all over the keyboard. These shoes will save my life. Comfortable, incredibly stylish, all leather, lined in leather, gorgeous pumps made by....

wait for it....

wait for it....

you'll never guess...

CROCS! Yes, you read that right. CROCS makes these shoes. Oh, you guessed already? Was it my linking to YOU by Crocs that gave it away? But didn't you think, admit now, you did, you thought that it must somehow be another Crocs, since these shoes, my lovely Venice shoes (not to mention all their other equally scrumptious styles) make those gardening clogs look like the ugly stepsisters, right? And yet, it's true. The purveyors of comfort, THE Crocs, actually know more than a little something about style.

And OhMommy swears they are the most comfortable thing since sliced bread. Well, not exactly. She doesn't wear sliced bread for shoes. But despite the mixed metaphors, you get the point, right? These are sassy, shiny, lovely heels that are actually comfortable, and come in half sizes, and contain extra padding in the ball of the foot and other pressure points that heels can otherwise aggravate, and... oh, my stars, I NEED SOME.

Did I mention that I'm a professor?

That may seem like a fancy job, what with the PhD and all. But Humanities professors at underfunded, public, state institutions have starting salaries that are surprisingly low. And unlike my young, single, hip female colleagues who will be dying to own a pair of these as soon as they see the glory that is mine close up, I have two children's college funds to contribute to on a monthly basis.

So, that means that while I really really want a pair of these amazing shoes, sigh for them, dream about them...they are priced somewhat beyond my shoe budget.

Do you suppose the YOU by Crocs people will read this post and think to themselves, "Perhaps we should donate a pair to this very worthy cause. A woman who works all day on her feet educating the youth of tomorrow! Yes, we will!" And then they'll email me, and offer me my choice of a luscious pair of shoes in exchange for writing about how dreamy my feet feel at the end of a long work day? And I'll say, "Of course, I would love to write down the poetry my feet will be singing after walking around all day in your shiny pretty comfortable amazingly-made-for -real-feet shoes. Please just send them to me, and I will write a review so glowing that it will rival the glow of their patent leather sheen..." And then they WILL send them to me?

And my feet will sing.

And I'll write down the lyrics for you.

And you will sing too, because the song will be so catchy.

Do you suppose that will happen?

...Well, a woman can dream...

But here's the thing, OhMommy is giving away a pair to one lucky winner, courtesy of YOU by Crocs. And if you leave her a comment on her post, she'll throw your name in a hat with the eleventy-three zillion other people who left a comment because they would love to own a pair of these shoes, and she'll choose one lucky winner. And if you also write a post about how much you'd like to have them, she'll throw your name into the hat twice. Which makes your chances twice as good, at two out of eleventy-three zillion.

I'm thinking, the chances that someone from YOU by Crocs will happen across my post, be tickled by it, and email me to offer me a pair of shoes in exchange for something useful to them (really YOU by Crocs, I'll do almost anything that doesn't involve tanning the leather myself), those chances have got to be at least as good as two out of eleventy-three zillion. I'm not sure what statistical probability that translates into, but I am sure of this:

I look at these shoes, and my very soles soul aches to have a pair. Doesn't yours?



Edited to add this fascinating tidbit: I just took at gander at my Stat Counter for the first time in a while and found that apparently someone on Yahoo's message boards about the stock market is using this post as a sign that "Crocs is gettin' hot" again. I am getting one hit approximately every 90 seconds from this stock tip. If Crocs' stock skyrockets [say that three times fast] as a result of this post, do you think I should jump ship career-wise and become a stock portfolio adviser? Now that is a question worth chewing on, don't you think?

16 comments:

Mr Lady said...

Well, Ripstick didn't notice me, but maybe crocs will notice you. Though, I'll warn you....I've linked to Crocs in almost every post I've ever written, and they've never said so much as THANKS FOR THE FREE PR.

But I love them, and I will continue to link to them.

PS: You'd look SMOKING hot in those shoes. You'd better win them.

Steph said...

Can I enter twice only my two entries could count as, like, two entries for you? Thus upping the chances to FOUR out of eleventy...whatever?

'Cause I'm a downass homie like that, you know.

Tracey said...

Phhhbbtttt!!! Perhaps you didn't realize, but I AM going to win those Crocs from OhMommy. Sorry...

:)

LaskiGal said...

Be careful when wearing those shoes and reading romantic poetry. Your male students could start to drool.

Then again . . .

lattemommy said...

But the real question is: Just how far will you go to get these lovely shoes? Another round of night classes overdue for baby #3? Hmm? ;)

MommyTime said...

Oh, Latte, you know I would. These shoes are worth it.

Steph, I have no idea what OhMommy would say, but I would love you forever.

OhMommy, please will you? You can tell them that I will do everything but sell shoes door to door in return.

Tracey, here's hoping Crocs reads this post and lets me have my own pair (and a giveaway over here, perhaps, to go with my testimonial?), so that you can win yours from OhMommy with a clear conscience. ;)

Laski, you are very funny. I think the girls notice more than the boys, though. One of them once asked me about a camel skirt I had, and when I told her I'd made it, she asked me if I'd make her one. She was only half kidding.

Dipti Shah said...

I gotta win these shoes! Since I had my baby it seems that I can't endure all my cute heels! I need comfy ones! Pick me! Pick me!

kelleigh1 said...

I desperately need a pair of Venus! I think I'll need to take a little cash from my second job at the shoe store (which doesn't sell Crocs - the travesty) and treat myself to a pair of those fabulous shoes!

bejewell said...

I lovelovelovelovelovelovelove luuuuuuuuuuvvvvvv them. But I want 'em in green.

Ree said...

Oh mah holy hell. They're gorgeous. Want.

But then, I also want a Dyson AND a cute white Maid's apron for Mr. Hot to wear.

And yea, I didn't get a chance to tell you, but I think it's abso-f*ing-lutely amazing that you're a tenured professor. Can I kiss you (again?) Cheek! People!

Lipstick said...

Those are fabulous. My aching feet want some. Now.

MamaGeek said...

I shamelessly admit to owning more than 4 pair of crocs.

*runs and ducks*

And you just KNOW a female designed THOSE!

Insta-mom said...

I blogged about Coffee Bean and suddenly they are sending me all kinds of stuff. You never know...

And now I'm leaving your site to go win some shoes. Because those are absolutely fabulous.

Kimmylyn said...

I hope you win if I don't..hahahaha

Those shoes look amazing!!! And you did a GREAT GREAT post for them...

MultiplesMommy said...

Tell MIQ that I now know what I want for my birthday...commmmfffffyyyyy shoes. Size 7. Not heels, as I can't run track after the kids in them. But something way snazzier than Keds. :-) Your post rocks!

MommyTime said...

Ahhh... Insta-mom, if only it were that easy. So far, they haven't been banging down my door yet.

MM: PERFECT. Just you wait, little sister. The sissies are on it!

 

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