Why is it that the Dog, who can barely hear me when I shout at her to STOP CHASING THAT RABBIT, can be sound asleep, upstairs, under covers, and yet still hear me drop a single bite of soft leftover sandwich into her dog bowl in the kitchen?
How is it possible for the very same pair of blue jeans to be too small in the waist at the front and miiiiiles too big in the waist at the back? Who are they making these pants for? Do skinny women with pre-pubescent boy abs really have that much back fat?
On a related note: why do the makers of pants in general assume that a woman with hips must by default have no waistline? If I had a dime for every pair of pants I've tried on that was too big in the waist when it fit in the hips, I would have enough money to hire a tailor to make me some custom pants. (And when I say too big, I don't mean a wee bit loose. I mean that the zipper is completely superfluous because you can basically see right down into the pants and assess my underwear, even when the pants are all buttoned up.) I don't want mom jeans. I just want some pants that are not shaped like I'm a 13 year old girl, straight down from waist to hips. I really shouldn't have to make my own pants to get them to fit, should I?
And, finally, how in the world do they learn how to do this without falling and breaking their noses, or strangling to death in the process?
18 comments:
I finally found a brand of jeans that fit. Of course, they're 75 dollars per pair and I currently wear the largest size available. I guess it's good motivation not to gain weight. By the way, that largest size is a 12 so while I could stand to lose some it's not like I'm huge. It shouldn't be so hard!
Gap Curvy jeans are really good for the hip/waist issues. So are 7 for all mankind. The 7 jeans are like a rediculous amount of $$ per pair though so go to gap/ Or STS (seethru soul) those are good too--and really trendy cuts!
It turns out that jeans, like electronics, are really one of those things that you get what you pay for. I never would have believed it, until I broke down and bought my first pair of $200 jeans last winter. They're by Paige, and they fit *amazingly*. I'm a convert.
However, for everyday wear, I swear by the Gap. But I have no ass, so that may not be the right solution for you. :)
I second the Gap Curvy Jeans. I have such problems with pants in general. In fact, my desk chair doesn't fit me well because when I sit down my butt sticks out behind me making it impossible to utilize the backrest unless I slouch.
Also, Lucky Brand makes one that has zero gap at the waist.
And the worst thing, is that ALL women have this problem! Why don't they just make women's jeans like men's with an inseam and a waistline measurement? Except, we'd need a hip measurement, too...
I'm still waiting for my ship to come in so I can buy a pair of Seven for All Mankind--I hear they're amazing.
You KNOW, you DO KNOW that I am dying, DYING, to make a smartass comment about assessing your underwear. But I'm having way too much fun, at the moment, with the current daydream about that very thing.
That video was GREAT.. can you imagine the frustration of turning the rope?? UGH..
I am a jean junkie.. I live in my True Religions..but you have to shop shop shop for the right jeans... it can be as frustrating as jumping rope.
Aren't those double-dutch jumpers amazing? I've seen lots of demos at half-time events for various sports and I always wonder how anyone could be that "not clumsy".
Oh, and try Levi's 515 (only the all-cotton ones, NOT the ones that have polyester in them) They work for me.
I take my boys to the park and do that jump roping thing all the time. Easy peasy...
RIGHT. WOW!
I have a lot of friends and family (women obviously) that have that same problem with jeans/pants!
Most of them are just made wrong. Just plain wrong. They never fit me anymore either. Since I stopped being thirteen. So frustrating.
I'm going to have to pass on this Gap Curvy thing.
Oh No!
I meant "pass on the Gap Curvy thing," as in TELL people about it.
Not "pass on the Gap curvy thing" as in no thank you, people...
oops.
And that, my dear, is why I have not sported a pair of jeans for years! OK, ever. I've always hated them. One of my many idiocyrancies. That, and trying to actually spell idiocycracies (can that be right?)
Oh my, I have been reading you for a few weeks now, and I don't comment often, but this just resonated so well. I have this problem no matter what kind of pants they are. Recently it was a pair of khaki's .
Love your blog.
All good questions.
That video is insane.
There's a US Jump Rope Championship?
Really?
Huh.
I second KD's Seven jean recommendation. I bought two pairs in 2003 and still wear them...so the price tag was worth it for me! I saved $$ in the long run since I used to buy dozens of jeans that were "almost there" for years.
KUT jeans, my favorite. I also have to give credit to the comeback of empire waist long shirts for making me less frustrated with my jeans. They cover so much, but you do get the random "Are you pregnant?"
I can't recall where I ran across your blog but I've been checking in for a while. I admit, I would have subscribed based on the name alone, but the content keeps me coming back! After many reads where I nodded along, it wasn't until your last post that I said: "ah, now I know why it feels so familiar". I am also an underpaid professor, albeit Biology not English, with a penchant for shoes. And the ironic dichotomy of hips and a waist. :)
Okay, I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go start trying on expensive jeans... I might try the Gap curvy, first, though, since I'm a bit in Scribbit's camp on this one: still waiting for the blue jeans fairy to wave her wand over me with a pot of blue-jeans-buying gold.
Thanks for so many brand ideas. Here's the list, for anyone who wants the short version: Gap, Levis 515, STS on the less expensive end; 7 for all Mankind, True Religion, Paige on the expensive end; Lucky I think is somewhere in between.
SHOUT OUTS: Hi Kim and 3 Crazy Irishmen! Thanks for the comments. It's nice to have you here, and I look forward to getting to know you both better.
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