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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Warts and All

You know that thing? That thing that if it's on Cindy Crawford is called a beauty spot

but if it's on a Wicked Witch with a poison apple is called a wart (check out her nose!)

and if it's on me is called...

well, since I can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear, I'll just say it: it's called a mole.

I don't like it. It's not quite elegant, though it's (thankfully) not big and warty. It's just a tidge darker in tone than my skin, so you would probably never notice it, even though it's just under my lip. Yes, just under my lip in the place where a beauty mark ought to be. Except. And this is no small exception. Except: Mine has three small hairs growing out of it. They used to be tiny, fine, completely unnoticable hairs of the nearly translucent variety.

And then, last night as I was brushing my teeth, I realized that one of those innocuous hairs had suddenly grown longer, darker, and completely mutant in its ability to stick straight out. Of course, I plucked the hair instantly.

But that doesn't mean I don't have the heebie jeebies about it. I feel as though I have come quite suddenly up against the turning point of my youth. It's all down hill from here, into the abyss of rogue eyebrow hairs that grow so long they threaten to jump right off one's face and who knows what other atrocities.

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. A little.

But still? Ewwwwww.

*end of self-indulgence (though I would appreciate it if someone out there could say I'm not the only one under 40 with such horrors sprouting on her it-wasn't-that-long-ago-that-I-was-still-getting-carded face)*

In other news, I noticed a big increase in hits when I offered up free circus tickets, but strangely only one person actually entered to win them. I'm not interested in turning this into a review blog with constant plugs for products, but I have been approached recently by marketers offering me interesting swag for giveaways. I have turned some down, as they weren't products I loved. But there are at least two that I adore, and that I thought people would love to know about and win for their very own, no strings attached.

Of course, I thought that about circus tickets too. Who wouldn't want to go to the circus for free? I thought. What fun!

So now I want to know: do you consider the occasional chance to win carefully-selected cool stuff a perk on blogs you read? Or do you see a post with a giveaway or contest and immediately think, "ack! run away! and get back to writing about the books you read, your kids, and your warts, you blogger-I-used-to-respect!"

Please weigh in. On warts. Of the literal or figurative variety. I would much appreciate it.

P.S. DVD and circus tickets winners to be announced later today.


MIQuilter said...

Just so you know.... the lovely beauty mark on my face sprouts 3 very dark, coarse hairs... at different times... so I CONSTANTLY feel like I'm plucking my face so that I'm not in a perpetual "wicked witch" halloween costume... and it's been doing that for YEARS. Finally time your beauty mark got with the program - all the cool beauty marks are doing it!

Lisa said...

I, too, have a hair-growing mole on my face, and a couple on my arms. You are not old!

bejewell said...

Mole mole mole mole moley moley molllllle

(In my head I am poking it with a stick right now.)

On the contest thing, I didn't enter because the Bean is really too little to appreciate the circus (almost there, but not quite) and I wouldn't want to use up someone else's chance. Which is generally my attitude about giveaways - unless it's something I REALLY want, I don't enter - so everyone else who does has a better chance.

I entered McMommy's holiday card thing, but that's just because I've got a holiday card fetish like she does. Usually I stay out of them.

Give away cash, though, and I AM TOTALLY IN.

Mrs F with 4 said...

Aaaaah, the dreaded pelt has finally caught up with you. A wiry forest. A bristly chin. "Ooh Mummy, you're PRICKING me!".

Welcome to my world.

Age does not necessarily bring wisdom, but it sure as beans brings more to shave (or pluck).

One word for you, my dear MT. Laser. And make it snappy.

Oh, and under NO circumstances buy one of those magnifying mirrors, or your tweezers will go into meltdown!

Actually, I have a better thought. Let them grow looooong, and make a second trip to your fabulous stylist - perhaps she could make a feature of them?

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Dude I faound a long hair coming from a mole on my neck last week. I thought I was going to DIE.

This Mom said...

Everyone has some wart, I am mole, that they are dealing with. At ANY age.

As to the tickets I don't live anywhere near you but I love the chance to win stuff. Especially good stuff.

lattemommy said...

I don't know anything about long, hideous, bristle-like black, 6 inch diameter hairs growing out of my chin. Come on, I'm still young! (Denial is a powerful thing.)

As for the circus - I totally would have entered, but they weren't coming anywhere near my house. You need to get more non-Canadian readers. ;)

Bring on some of that other hot swag and I'll be all over it. :)

Fawn said...

Whitehorse out of reach for those circus tickets. :) I haven't been to a circus in YEARS! I wonder if I'd have as much fun there now? Maybe more with Jade in tow!

Yesterday she tried to give her giant stuffed elephant a "drink" of water from her toothbrushing cup and I taught her how elephants use their trunks to bring water to their mouths. And I thought, "Wouldn't she just LOVE to see a real elephant?!" Well, that won't happen anytime soon!

No hairy moles here, but I do have random wiry dark hairs occasionally. Like the one I found on my chest a few months ago. *shudder*

As for giveaways, I'm all for them. I enter a lot of Scribbit's (never won anything, though, of course, with all the readers she has!) because she has so many cute things. If I likes it, I enters it. ;)

Scribbit said...

Warts? Sore subject. I have had one on my finger that will not go away, since the beginning of the year I've been in to 9 office visits to have it cut, burned, frozen and acided away--all with no luck. I'm beside myself. Even tried the duct tape but apparently I'm immune to everything. I'd wrote a post on my woes but it's too disgusting for words.

proseandconverse said...

I say, "Bring 'em on!"

The circus thing, though- well, I had to bow out of that one, due to an inexplicable (although fairly common) fear of clowns. There, I said it.

foolery said...

I've entered a few contests that I had NO chance of winning -- Pioneer Woman's, for example -- and they were a lot of fun.

I've entered a couple of contests I didn't really think I could win, because the contest itself was so fun, and then I won them.

I felt so guilty winning something twice in one week without planning to, that I have avoided contests thereafter.

Neurotic? You bet. Now you know.

Lo said...

okay first, i like the occassional giveaway bc hello, who doesn't like free shwag???

and second? i'm 24 and i have this weird hair that grows between the girls (boobs.) it's towards my upper chest. and it's this hair that just likes to grow super duper long. it freaks me out. i hate it. i squeel when i see i've let it get so damn long. then i pluck the thing silly.

and i'm only 24. imagine what'll happen when i'm 44??? what, chest hair??

Ree said...

Would you believe that the only place I still have hair is on my chin and on my big toe(s)?


My kids are too old....but I love other giveaways!

Vodka Mom said...

I have a mole, too! One of my little kindergartners said, What is that on your face Mrs. P? And I said, "A mole." And he said, "Are you gonna have that removed???"

ha. real funny.

Huckdoll said...

If it makes you feel any better, I noticed a dark hair on my chin this morning for the first time ever. Wasn't sure how to feel, but my heart sank...UGH!!! Whaaa! Anyway, I plucked it, but I know it's mine for life. It really, really sucked.

I really don't mind at all if a blogger pimps a product and does a giveaway. Once in awhile. I don't subscribe to or even read review blogs and I rarely enter a giveaway, but for you and others whom I adore, I will read and enter (if it's open to Canadians, that is).

Jaina said...

I don't mind my favorite blogs doing a giveaway once in a while. They're fun. I even won something once, it was fun. :)

The Glamorous Life said...

I love the give away thing. But I am very picky about where I enter. I only enter for things I really really want. I would hate to win and take it away from someone else ya know? And we go to the circus every year..we are circus freaks. But I didn't enter because- well I thought someone else should win. make sense?

And if you ever have any turn away of free stuff send them my way. I love doing give aways!!!!

Amy in StL said...

I rarely enter for free things. I feel that I'm generally blessed enough to be able to afford what I want, so I leave the freebies for those that need them.

My mole doesn't grow hairs, but my chin occasionally sprouts one. Even better, sometimes it sprouts a white one and I'm only 38! I'd like to believe that's because I plucked that one before and the follicle died so the hair is white.

MommyTime said...

I really appreciate the feedback.

Many thanks to MIQ, Lisa, Mrs F, KD, This Mom, Latte, Scribbit, Lo, Ree, Vodka Mom, Huckdoll, and Amy in SLT for all making me feel so much more normal. I can' tell you all how much I appreciate it.

And thanks, too, for the encouragement about the giveaways. You all are very thoughtful about what you enter, which I love. With any luck, I'll have one or two coming up that have lovelies that appeal to very different people, so there may be something for everyone. :)

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