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Friday, January 30, 2009

Inane Thursday

First, I had to spend 45 minutes taking an online module on preventing sexual harassment that was mandatory for work. Let me preface this by saying that I think sexual harassment in the workplace (or anywhere else, for that matter) is a serious issue, and I'm all for education towards its prevention. HOWEVER. I scored 100% on the pretest at the beginning of the module. You know, the test where they give you a whole slew of scenarios, and you have to say whether the events can or cannot legally be construed as sexual harassment. Then, after 45 minutes of module-ing, I took the post-test. You know, the one that actually counts before you can print out your little certificate to take to your boss to prove you completed the module. And I only scored 93%. It's true. After 45 minutes of careful education, my intelligence on this subject matter has diminished. Do you think I should have told the test-feedback form that little tidbit?

Then, Husband and I went to go test-drive a car that he'd found listed on eBay. As if buying a car on eBay weren't weird enough (really, shouldn't eBay purchases be limited to things your children will play with or you will wear or read? And that cost under three digits, never mind five? But I digress.) The car was being offered by a local dealership, so we had lunch and went to check it out. It was quite a very nice car, in fact. But the car itself (and the fact that in the end, we did not buy it) are completely irrelevant to the inanity of my Thursday, except for the mere coincidence of them being the occasion of my encounter with something like this:


Now, before you get your panties in a twist and think I've stolen some nice girl's Flickr photo of her grandpa at a museum to make some mocking point about a car dealership, let me just tell you that that up there, my friends, is a photo of a statue. Don't believe me? " Go check out the place I found it. Only because the car dealership was not a museum but a car dealership, the photo-realistic, 3-D old guy THEY had installed wasn't sitting on a bench wearing loafers. Oh, no. He was sitting on a cheap metal chair, wearing plaid old man pants (no offense to any of my male readers), a faded golf shirt that didn't really match the pants (In fairness, what shirt matches white pants bearing orange and red stripes to create a plaid?), an old baseball cap, and a pair of Birkenstocks. The statue was so realistic that the man had grungy toenails. Seriously.

I started at him for a while, trying to figure out if he was real or not, when I suddenly realized that the washed-up mechanic who was allowed to hang out behind the main desk at the front of the place out of courtesy for his many long years of service to the company would not have been wearing sandals without socks on a very snowy day in January in Michigan. Hence, he had to be a statue, his slight goosebumps, realistic skin tone, and dirty toenails notwithstanding.

I will be honest here. He totally creeped me out.

Then I found out that the staff has named him "Mr. Wiener." Not pronounced why-ner but pronounced wee-ner. Nice.

There's really nothing to say to that. So we left the dealership. I expect weird dreams of lifelike statues staring at me to haunt me all night long.

Then, top it all off, I actually had to Google "life like statue of old man to buy" in order to find this picture for you. As if I were dying to make such a surreal purchase myself.

My day could only get stranger if I won the lottery without buying a ticket.

5 comments:

CaJoh said...

Oh, I've seen these things. I think they are really cool. I believe they are bronze and painted— so even if the poor guy was installed outside you could see him out there too. Hay mister why you sitin' in the rain…

Hairline Fracture said...

That is a very, very strange thing to put in a car dealership. Grungy toenails do not make ME want to buy a car.

LORI said...

UM, ICK! THAT'S JUST WEIRD! BUT IT WORKED, BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT, AND NOW EITHER WILL WE! THE POWER OF ADVERTISING...

MultiplesMommy said...

I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks, I needed that. Isn't it nice to know that your inane Thurs made my happy Wed??

Jaina said...

That is totally bizarre.

 

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