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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dear Whoever Chooses the Previews for OnDemand Cable,


Who do you think are the primary watchers of daytime TV? Sure, I know that there are a lot of people who are on mandatory leaves from their jobs right now, and there's a good contingent of retirees, and probably a goodly batch of teenagers gleeful about school just having ended. But I think it's a pretty fair bet that if you put all those demographics together, they do not form a group larger than the irate mothers of preschoolers who are desperately trying to start Wall-E with lightening quick speed navigating through the 27 menus required to make the movie start because in that little preview box that sits at the top of the menu screen, you are currently running clips that feature a young girl who is a witness to a triple murder. And the phrase "gruesome triple murder" is spoken during this preview. And the cute little blond girl keeps saying, "Mommy, I see something" while the camera splits back and forth between shots of her sweet face and blood spatter. And my children, like all children ever born, instinctively are riveted by the faces of humans around their own age, so they sit quietly and absorb this preview. I am livid. And horrified.

I am not sure this preview is worse than the one that featured a short, crisp dialogue between two men a year or so ago, "Where is your wife now?" one of them asked. The other (I think it was Anthony Hopkins) replied with sinister calm, "I killed her."

It may not be worse than the ones that feature wartime violence, machine guns, and ferocious faces craving bloodshed.

It may not be worse than the sexy ones in which someone appears in lingerie and someone else looks all ready to jump her bones.

But it's certainly not BETTER than any of those.

Here's a little tip, if you want to keep subscribers: run previews that are rated "G" during the day -- especially in the witching hours of 4-6pm when it's time to cook dinner, the children are melting, and the TV may be desperately necessary for half an hour or so.

I just want to put "George and Martha" on for my kids. They don't really need to learn new words like "sexy" and "homocide" in the bargain.




MidLifeMama said...

AGH. I am right there with you. The other day it was something sexy. Very suggestive. I am trying to get to Fireman Sam or Jack's Big Music Show and not have my child exposed to TOO much nudity.

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Not just previews, commercials are bad too! How do you answer a four year old who wants to know, "What's erectile dysfunction?" Blech.

Lisa said...

So there with you! I wondered about that just the other day! I have the same complaint about ads for violent video games during baseball/football games ... um, I am watching sports with my 3 year old ... could you hold off on the R rated games??????

LceeL said...

Unfortunately, it appears that TVland is populated by the same morons who occupy so many other critical niches in life.

Jaina said...

I think the people who select those previews are single, childless people who just have no clue.

MultiplesMommy said...

YES! YES! YES! (And I don't mean that in the lingerie-preview-way) I can't tell you how many times I've strategically placed myself between the TV and my children in an effort to block the previews while I fumble through On Demand. Don't you just hate stupid people??

3 Crazy Irishmen said...

DVR all the way! I also find that the VERY few shows I let my boys watch on Cartoon Network or even Disney Channel are not on during dinner prep and everything is for older kids or tweens. We DVR the shows they are allowed to watch and even my 5 year old knows how to use it to find "their" shows. It's so nice to give them some degree of independence to pick an option but ONLY ones that we agree with!

Vodka Mom said...

well done.......


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