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Thursday, October 1, 2009

If you give a preschooler an inch...

**with apologies to Laura Numeroff, whose wonderful book I read twice at story-time tonight because BOTH children picked it**

If you give a preschooler an inch,
chances are, she'll want a mile.
You'll compromise, and let her wear her tutu to the grocery store.

She'll probably clamor to "drive" the grocery cart with the car attached to the front.
She does look cute in that car, so you'll agree.

When you pull out the green car cart,
she'll probably insist that only the blue one will do.

You'll have to pull all six of those unwieldy carts out of the line to reach the only blue one at the end.

Riding through the fruit section in the blue cart will remind her that
she LOVES! PEACHES! and STRAWBERRIES! and BANANAS!
She might want to get out of the car to help you choose them.

She'll want you to let her do it all by herself.
She'll start grabbing fruit off the displays--bruised apples, peaches hard as rocks.

Then she'll flit off towards the deli section,
and you'll have to race to catch up to her while pushing the behemoth car cart.

While she's in the deli section, she'll poke her fingers at all the salmon packages.
Hard.
She'll probably make a hole in at least one of them.

When she's done examining the lobsters,
she'll offer to race you to the "honey O's."
You'll oblige with your best steering efforts,
and she'll dash her pink-tulle-clad self up the cereal aisle.

Then she'll want you to buy yogurts.
So you'll have to back up the blue car cart while she hangs on its handle.

When she sees the yogurts, she'll ask you to buy "monkey drinks" too.
Then she'll want to choose different flavors for each member of the family.
You'll have to help her pick who wants what
and pay for it all.

On the way home, she'll see the purple playground, which will remind her of the brown playground.
She'll want to go there just as soon as the groceries are put away.
So you'll have to get her out of her tutu and into the stroller with the car horn.
When you start off down the street, she'll want to "go faster!"
She'll ask you to sing while you run and push her up hill.

When you turn the last corner to the brown playground, she will catch a glimpse of the library.
Seeing the library will remind her that she wanted to read some new books about ballerinas.
She'll probably ask you to take her there after the park.

And chances are,

if she asks you to help her find ballerina books,

she's going to want to wear her tutu to the library.

13 comments:

Mom of Three said...

:-) and you wouldn't trade it for a thing!

LceeL said...

And this, boys and girls, has been the story of "The Little Princess and the Exhausted Mommy".

Who looks really hot because her kid keeps her in shape.

Renovation Girl said...

Love it! Take out the tutu and put in an army costume, this could be my story with Builder Boy!

Teacher Mommy said...

Oh, that age...such craziness!

Momisodes said...

If You Give A Pig a Pancake book is a HUGE favorite in our house. I loved the way you wrote this. And BOY can I relate.

Ree said...

This is YOUR best work.

Awesome honey. Absolutely awesome.

cy said...

you're too creative!

Suzanne ~ TheJoyfulChaos said...

just found your blog - LOVE this post!

ilinap said...

Oh, this is fantastic. I love those books too. I mean, my sons love those books.

Suburban Kamikaze said...

A very good day. On the other hand, if you give a teenager an inch, he will complain that all the other kids have two inches and why isn't there anything to eat in this house? Also, he needs money.

SK

Jaina said...

Great adaptation! So cute. :)

Golden Girl said...

I love the adaptation! My kids loved those books when they were growing up...believe me, it goes too fast! At least now I have grandkids to read those stories to!

Emily said...

EXACTLY!

Love your interpretation of Laura Numeroff and life with a three year old. Fantastic!

 

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