Oh, wonderful stainless steel dishwasher with the cavernous size, flexible rack design, extra rows of cup holders, and powerful cleaning!

You were a dream come true.

Until two days ago.

Now there is a growling noise that sounds as though a large-ish prop plane is preparing for take-off from underneath my kitchen cabinet.

Apparently this is a known problem. Apparently it is something to do with connections and insulation and pipes that vibrate against each other and the backs of cabinets when the machinery is running. Or something like that.

All I want to know is: if this is a known problem, why not do something to, you know, fix it? Like insulate the pipes better. Or redesign the thing so that it doesn't use an actual propeller blade for a part.

In the interest of proving that I am not exaggerating (and also, perhaps, because I am bored of coloring pictures to surround unicorn stickers this afternoon), I actually took a 15 second video of the front of my dishwasher while it was running.

It might be the most scintillating footage since Andy Warhol's epic movie about the Empire State Building. Don't know that movie? It's several hours long. It's a camera trained on the top of the famous building. The building doesn't move. The camera occasionally wiggles. At one point, about an hour and a half through, a bird flies across the sky. Then we're back, blissfully, to the unmoving building for another hour or so because all that drama was almost too much to take. The End.

So, my movie has the merit of being short. It does not, however, accurately capture the grinding roar of vibrating pipes and machinery very well. Apparently, the makers of the Flip video camera did not consider the needs of the Dishwasher Documentarian when setting the levels for the mic in their product. So, the movie has a hissy little murmur to it, but that it all. If I embedded the video that I uploaded to YouTube (oh, yes, I did, but it's thankfully marked private), you would scoff at the noise. Meanwhile, I feel like my eardrums are barely surviving a bad rock concert.

But my dishes are clean, and I didn't have to do them by hand.

So there's that. Even though I secretly hate both my dishwasher and my video camera a little bit right now.