Short, Heartfelt Letters: Technology Edition

Dear Steve Jobs,

The magnetic port for the power cord on my MacBook Pro is brilliant for preventing the kind of cord strain that frayed two cords on my last computer. Less than brilliant is its placement. If one wants to use the computer atop a lap (not inconceivable, given that it is marketed as laptop), and one sits cross-legged to achieve lap, then one's left knee is in the precisely perfect spot to dislodge the ingeniously-easy-to-dislodge magnetic connection.

Since a left knee removal seems impractical for all of your myriad users, might I suggest a power cord port at the back of the computer rather than at the side?

Sincerely,
I thought Macs were supposed to be perfect

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Dear Toyota,

You aren't the only ones whose floor mats can mess with the pedals at a driver's feet. I have a Subaru, and my floor mat periodically creeps up to a place where it snags my clutch as I'm letting it out.

I, however, have not needed to sue Subaru over this, or even to demand a recall of said vehicle. Instead, I occasionally take a moment, once I have parked the car, and slide the floor mat back down to its proper place and reattach it to the pin that exists to keep it where it belongs. The reattaching is quite tricky, which means that the detaching only seems to happen about once every two or three years. I can live with 2 minutes of hassle that infrequently.

Perhaps you could take a lesson from Subaru, and install a little gizmo to hold the mat in place. It wouldn't do anything to fix your rogue accelerator problems (which, really, are unconscionable), but it would be one less completely manageable headache to deal with.

And it would have the merit of implying to your consumers that you assume they are intelligent enough to reposition a floor mat that gets out of place.

Bonus all around!

Sincerely,
My Subaru may not be perfect, but it sure is safe

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Dear Toaster Oven,

In the interests of honestly, I propose you just drop the word "toaster" completely from your name. You are a Mini Oven. I don't expect my normal-sized oven to make good toast, though it's scary good at drying out bread if I need dry bread for something. And I have realized after nine years of torture with you, "Toaster" Oven, that I should not expect toast from you either.

You are great for cooking breaded fish fillets or melting the cheese on a wee homemade pizza. You work wonders in the frozen waffle reheating department.

But toast?

TEN MINUTES for a slice of toast? And even then, it's only evenly browned on one side, not both, and the bread in the middle is nearly as dry as the Sahara.

My $2 Goodwill toaster that I owned in graduate school did a better job making toast (in 30 seconds) than your fancy $100 wedding gift registry self ever did.

I'm sorry to say that I think I may have to throw you over for a good old-fashioned actual toaster that actually toasts.

Sincerely,
I miss my quick and easy breakfasts