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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dear Mall Kiosk Guy,

I do not want to try your Dead Sea Minerals Hand Polish. Or your Dead Sea Minerals Scrub. Or your Dead Sea Minerals Fingernail Buff Kit, even though it produces glossy smooth nails that always look freshly manicured.

Nor, quite frankly, do I want to be hounded as I walk through the mall, after I've used my Polite Voice to say "no thank you; I'm not interested."

And when, after I more firmly insist, "NO thanks," you immediately start bad-mouthing me to the too-skinny-big-smile-blond-highlights girl who is your kiosk partner, it doesn't do much to endear me to you. Don't think that just because you are speaking Russian, I don't understand you. I may not speak Russian, but Snark is a pretty universal language.

Despite your patent-able combination of bravado, smug condescension and baby-soft hands, you aren't actually better than me.

I? I am a mother/wife/professor, who adores her family and friends and is really extremely happy in her life.

And you? You are a pushy Mall Kiosk Guy who isn't very nice.

I know you have a crappy job in a state where lots of people have no job at all, but here's the thing. "Mall Kiosk Guy" may not be the most prestigious title you'll ever have, but unless you do something quick, "pushy" and "not very nice" may stick with you forever.

Just a thought,


BusyDad said...

He falls into my special "deserves a knee to the solar plexus" list. That's a selective list. I'll send you a plaque. You can give it to him next time you're at the mall.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Hope he reads this because it's verrrrry true.

Melanie @ 40 Degree Day said...

lol! nice one. They always annoy me too.

MomZombie said...

What is it with those mall kiosk people, especially the manicure/skin care ones? I had the exact experience. The women, who made plastic mannequins seem more lifelike, were very condescending and rude. I cut a wide swath around those kiosks.

MommyNamedApril said...

GAH, i CANNOT STAND that guy!!!!


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