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Friday, December 30, 2011

Fun and Games, 2011 Version

This year, my Drafts folder, like my cup, runneth over. It is filled with glimmering tidbits, languishing un-fleshed-out. While one might be tempted to find something poignant to say about this, I am actually too buoyed up by tonight's Wii Family Obstacle Course and Slalom Skiing Showdown to seek out the maudlin or nostalgic.

Instead, then, I treat this like a little treasure-trove, a reminder of all the many good moments of the year.

Two great questions from the past year

His (after some weeks of discussing, in more or less detail, how the baby gets out): "But Mama, How does the baby get IN?"

Hers (standing on her bed and brandishing her dolly):
"Did you know my baby can fly?"
Me: "No, I didn't."
Her: "She can. Watch this." (hurling the baby-doll across the room)

Most pointed "I really ought to organize my life" moment

Inventory of the pocket of my car door, taken in June: preschool Sunscreen Alert form (from the previous year);  pair of neoprene gloves (perfect for shoveling the driveway of snow); cozy ear band (THAT's where it went!); extra socks, size 5T, pink, slightly dirty. 

Best overheard conversation, in serious tones

Friend: ". . . I was going to buy a van with my money because I have like a hundred dollars in my bank account, but then I decided not to because I have more money at home, so I have like a thousand dollars, and I decided to save it because I'm going to buy my own house, and then I don't have to live with my parents and I can do whatever I want, like watch movies any time I want..."

Son: "Yeah, but you have to be at least [pausing to consider] thirty to have your own house..."

Friend: "I know."

Son: "So you can't buy your own house."

Friend: "But I would put it right next to my parents' house, in the backyard."

Son: "Like a playhouse?"

Friend: "No, a real house."

Son: "Well, the police would put you in jail for breaking a law."

Friend: [still vaguely hopeful] "I know. . ."

Son: "So you can't have your own house."

Friend: "I know." [dejected sigh]

Awesome personal revelation

Grocery shopping with children is like parkour without the coolness. The only thing that redeems the exhaustion of climbing walls (or preventing your children from climbing displays) is that sometimes, they will come home from the grocery store and eat goat cheese and like it. And then they will try to learn how to pronounce "chevre" with the French gutteral "r." And then, just as with childbirth, the miracle of the aftermath overshadows the previous grim bits, and you feel convinced you could do that whole thing all over again next week.

(Unlike with childbirth, you actually will do the whole thing over again next week.)

Best proof that "dumb" animals are smarter than we think

Right around Halloween, the new pup (age 10 months) chose to chew up Bicycling Barbie, effectively turning her into Bicycling Zombie Barbie by removing her face but not fully destroying her. Her smiling mouth, chin and most of one cheek lay in one spot on the floor, while her eyes and the rest of her head perched a few feet away. The body looked as though it had never even met a dog. It was a perfectly zombie moment, perfectly timed for the holiday.

And then, around Christmas, though I hadn't managed to take a photo of Zombie Barbie to post online (but I also hadn't managed to throw her away), the dog found the head again and worried at it a little more. I found her hair on the staircase. Just one day after we watched John Wayne in The Searchers--a movie containing truly awful moments of racism against Indians--my dog scalped my daughter's Zombie Barbie.

In summary

2011 was a year of great family hilarity and so much fun that I found less time to write than I would have liked. In recompense, I was a whole lot happier than I had been the year before--which surely seems more than worth it.

Here's hoping you and yours have a 2012 worth celebrating!


Fawn said...

That definitely deserves a toast! I think it calls for a chocolate martini. (Not very creative of me, perhaps, but delicious for sure.) Here's to another happy(er) year!

Ann Imig said...

I love this.

Anna Lefler said...

This is fantastic! And I feel so much less alone in the realm of localized zombie happenings...

Happy New Year!

:-) Anna

anymommy said...

Really life is not any fun until you've scalped a barbie.


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